THE Whitehaven woman allegedly murdered by her on-off boyfriend had a text conversation with him eight days before she died, telling him: “You've totally destroyed me.”
Tiffany Render, 34, sent the message to Paul Irwin on March 14.
She was found dead in his George Street flat eight days later after 50-year-old Irwin called for an ambulance, claiming he had woken in bed to find Miss Render lying his beside him, unresponsive and not breathing.
He denies murder and sexual assault.
On day three of Irwin's trial at Carlisle Crown Court, the jury were taken through a lengthy text message exchange that happened between him and Miss Render,.
She spelled out how she was feeling.
In the first message, Miss Render told Irwin: “You have totally destroyed me and broken my heart into a million pieces. I have given everything to you and you still hurt me and hit me.”
Irwin said he would not bother her again if that was what she wanted. But he still loved her, he said
“You don’t love me," she responded. "If you did, you would not hurt me again, and again and again.” Nor would he continue taking drugs if he loved her, she said, though Irwin said he was trying to keep off them.
Miss Render (pictured below)said she had wanted to be with Irwin but she had been “battered by every man she had ever been with and Irwin had done the same. He was not the one being abused, hurt and left with broken bones, she said.
Irwin said he would try to keep off drink and drugs.
Miss Render said he should have realised the need to keep off it all those times when he was sent to jail because of his drinking.
She wrote: “You really have ruined me. I thought I had found my happy ever after. Just lies.” Irwin again said he still loved her and missed her and that his life was “complete” when they were together.
“We had some great times,” he wrote.
“We did, yes,” replied Miss Render. “But when it was bad it was horrific. Very damaging. ..You love one person and that’s yourself.”
Responding to his comment that he was “worried about her,” Miss Render said: “I’m worried about me. I haven’t got a home, I haven’t got a partner, and I have to go through it all alone.”
Irwin said he would “always be there” for her.”
Miss Render then wrote: “And then hit me and throw me out. Big problem with that. You will always be there to knock me around and be horrible to me.” She reminded him that she had been diagnosed with cancer.
“Words are not enough anymore; sorry, it’s just too much,” she said. She said they had “got each other” but then he beat her and she was sad. Miss Render continued: “I was madly in love with you.”
But since he kicked her out of his flat, she had lost nearly two stones in weight. Responding to his next message, saying he could not help how he felt about her, Miss Render said: “You don’t feel Paul for anyone.
“It’s a crying shame because I really loved you and thought I was going to be with you for the rest of my life. You won’t change, Paul; you haven’t changed from being sent to prison for doing the same thing.
“I’ll just have to hug a pillow for the foreseeable future.”
“I can change,” Irwin insisted in his next text. Miss Render replied: “You can’t Paul. You went straight back to [badly behaving] mode as soon as your [alcohol] tag came off. I don’t know if I will be able to trust you again.
“I have too much going on.”
Four days before Miss Render died, Irwin sent her a text declaring; “You will trust me; I am going to change. I mean it this time. I don’t want to lose you.”
In another exchange, on March 20, Irwin told her that their relationship was “not all about sex.” Miss Render’s reply was: “It is with you.”
Earlier in the case, the jury heard that Irwin claims Miss Render’s death on March 22 from massive blood loss was the accidental result of consensual sexual activity which had gone wrong.
The trial continues.
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